What Women Deserve

21st century women have an entitlement problem. I have seen this first hand as a woman myself, and even more so, as a minority woman.

Many women think that they are entitled to certain outcomes, treatments, relationships, etc, simply because they are women.

This, my sweet friends, is an issue. You see, we are entitled to absolutely nothing. We deserve nothing. I know. Shocking. You may be thinking, What is this girl talking about? Bear with me. Hear me out.

Entitlement breeds anger, jealousy, pride, unhappiness. Nothing that anyone does will be good enough for those of us who feel entitled. Women made a big deal out of working amongst ruthless men in the corporate world, forgetting that this same ruthlessness is what makes these men successful. Now, women are making a big deal out of sexist air conditioning in the workplace. Once they're done fighting for this, there will be yet another workplace “problem” to invent.

This “I deserve” attitude fails to leave room for personal responsibility of actions. These women blame men for their problems; anything that goes wrong is never the fault of the woman- it is the fault of the patriarchy, or the ex boyfriend, or the male coworkers- you get my point. If she gets cat-called or hit on, and she didn’t desire to be cat-called or hit on, it is not even a possibility that this happened because of her body language, or the clothes she was wearing, or the things she said! NO! It is only because of a dirty, disrespectful man. I broke up with him because he was a lazy, lowlife. What attracted such “scum” to her, and vice versa? These entitled women may even blame other women for their problems. The friendship ended because that girl was a backstabber. Consider what role the entitled women played in this. Was she the friend she needed to be as well? Many women can’t see when they are the problem, because they are told not to be introspective, that they have nothing to fix, and that they deserve better. They think they can act however they want with no repercussions.

Why is it SO difficult for "us" women to face our own issues, to see when we are part of the problem? How can we, when society is OBSESSED with us? Obsessed with glorifying us, putting us up on a pedestal, making us think we are flawless goddesses, only pointing out flaws in men. Think of the marches, all the self-love and body-confidence articles and posts; all the women’s empowerment talk, the women-based movements, and how feminized our culture has become. There is even an idea going around that taking care of your own children should be a paid gig! No wonder we think we deserve to live in a world that caters to us!

One pastor, Doug Wilson, put it this way, “...'repent and believe' is one that can still be delivered to men… But that is not the case anymore with women. Any counselor who actually tries to address feminine shortcomings in a dysfunctional relationship is a brave counselor. …the fact that her sin is untouchable. We are dealing with a culture-wide insistence that women not be held responsible for what they do.” As women, we should strive to not be that girl, thinking our sin is untouchable, or that we are without shortcomings. We need to be able to think about the potential consequences of our actions. The beautiful part about being introspective is that it not only allows us to take responsibility for our actions, see situations clearer, and make changes within ourselves, but it helps us to see just how undeserving we are. This is a learning curve for so many of us, myself included, because it’s easier to blame others than to see our own flaws and make changes, but it will help us to become forgiving, peace-filled, content women.

So, friend, again, you are entitled to nothing. In an ideal world, everything would be exactly fair, but we do not live in that ideal world. You are not owed anything by anyone. Not even so much as an apology. You do not deserve to be loved. Should you be loved? Yes. But sometimes, some people just won’t love you. And you do not deserve love from the person who chooses not to love you. You did not deserve that job. Were you completely qualified for the job? Maybe. Hopefully. Should that man have come on to you? Of course not, that is inappropriate behavior. But were your actions an open door for him (whether intentional or unintentional)?

...it’s easier to blame others than see to our own flaws and make changes, but it will help us to become forgiving, peace-filled, content women.

Scripture compares human beings to filthy rags, saying that “all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment.” The most incredible thing that ever happened for mankind was Christs’ sacrifice on our behalf. He did not do this because we deserved or earned it. How do “filthy rags'' deserve life everlasting? How do humans have a right to a personal relationship with the God of the universe, when all we do is sin against Him? We don’t! We only deserve an eternity apart from God. But because God is kind, good, loving, and a righteous judge, He sent His son to take the punishment that we deserved. Jesus left his place by the right hand of God, and came to this earth to live among sinful humans. He was kind, loving, selfless, spoke the truth, and yet, he was killed. He surely didn’t deserve that. But he did it so that we wouldn’t get what we deserve. Now, we can be free and have life!

It’s time to stop blaming others for our plight. It’s time to stop the entitlement. The jealousy. The anger towards those who have what we think we should have. The attempts at making others pity us for this supposed plight. The projection of our problems onto others. Keep in mind what we truly deserve in this life (death), and thank Jesus for taking that away from us!

With love,

Solie Osorio